Suiko-Crap Induction #3 (11/17/2007) The Denizens of Lenankamp

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Lenankamp, a village south east of Gregminster, pretty much the secondary commerce point of the region, with Sarady and Rockland not exactly bustling hubs of activity. In this regard, seeing the security placed upon Gregminster the importance of Lenankamp would be apparent, however, it is not and instead filled with plot holes, moronic statements and tidbits, and last but not least, probably the most retarded bunch of citizens you could come across in any town at all. Taking place in Lenankamp, the entirety of the Toran Liberation Army, having a base within the sewers (note: Aqueducts) with a passage leading from a room in the sole inn. The same sewers which run under the entire town, the same inn which everyone would need to stay at when they visited, the same place which seems out of place since Rockland and Sarady are about as dead as Neclords love life (seriously, why does a vampire need a wife, it’s not like he can get it up anymore what with the lack of blood flow.) and Gregminster is the capital of the entire Scarlet Moon Empire.
Let’s set the scene, Tir & company gallivant around the countryside despite being outlaws and arrest on sight, Liberation Army produce plans for the Fire Spear, the two groups combine to form slightly more obvious group and bugger off to Sarady to deliver them to a messenger, Imperial guard patrols go “what” Lenankamp guards (who you can interact with) go “Lenankamp is fucking awesome, you must be uber rich to stay at this inn 400 times in the space of an hour.” And the team come back from a successful mission “yeah we’re freakin awesome, evading those troop patrols that weren’t there was easy, you really aren’t important are you?” to find their hide out underseige “omg hax!” Now this is where the citizens of Lenankamp show us just how moronic and shit stupid bastard they all are.
Odessa runs off ahead, you follow and get stopped by two guard patrols with 5-6 Imperial Soldiers in each, you dispatch them easily and they fade away, of course this is still the case if you use the fire rune but still there would be the distinct smell of smouldering flesh before they disappeared. Odessa screams “eek I be pwnd” and you rush in the traditional hero manner of “oh fuck I just missed it” long story short she dies, but since she is pivotal to the storyline she doesn’t fade away, instead she wants you to throw her body in the sewer stream.
Let’s break this down; you have a now dead body, in water, which travels under the entire city, that body would become bloated and give off a god awful decomposing smell because the water would basically make it to the point where if you saw it you’d vomit. Yet, you don’t see anyone later on noticing that they now have a dead body floating under their city. Realism? Fuck it, Odessa smells like roses she does, she added a rose scent to the sewer she did. The citizens, unphased by the fact that not 1 imperial unit returned alive, unphased by the Liberation Army suddenly buggering off en mass in broad daylight, the Imperial Guard who is simply there seems fine to let you waltz in, kill the men, and walk out without a hassle.
“Odessa wait!”
*kills a few Imperial guardsmen*
“So the Liberation Army is now finished bwahaha, we’re awesome”
“um dude, shouldn’t you be like arresting us for entering a place where your guys were raiding, or the fact we’re travelling with Sanchez?”
“yup.. totally boned now, there’s no way they can recuperate from out awesomeness!”
But wait, there’s more!
Later on we find that Krin has a house in Lenankamp, the same Krin that broke into Lepants household, the same Krin who poisoned water and crap, the same Krin who is a bandit, what happens to bandits? Well Sydonia and Varkas were set to be crucified, but Krin, nah he’s an upstanding citizen who profited off banditry owns a house probably because of it and continues on his merry way. Not only that, but Meg also has a house there (her parents) so we have a dead body, a bandit, and a girl who plays tricks on people which could then lead to death all in the same town, and the villagers… well… ignorant fuckers. Kill a few people, steal from the people, and attempt to make it blatantly obvious that you did it and Lenankamp will open you with welcoming arms.
Welcome completely insignificant person who can do no wrong and has done no wrong, considering you can’t kill or maim us I don’t care what you do, huzzah to ignorance!

Written by: Creme de la Fly

Nominated by: Creme de la Fly

Approved by: Flare & Darko

Lenankamp, a village south east of Gregminster, pretty much the secondary commerce point of the region, with Sarady and Rockland not exactly bustling hubs of activity. In this regard, seeing the security placed upon Gregminster the importance of Lenankamp would be apparent, however, it is not and instead filled with plot holes, moronic statements and tidbits, and last but not least, probably the most retarded bunch of citizens you could come across in any town at all. Taking place in Lenankamp, the entirety of the Toran Liberation Army, having a base within the sewers (note: Aqueducts) with a passage leading from a room in the sole inn. The same sewers which run under the entire town, the same inn which everyone would need to stay at when they visited, the same place which seems out of place since Rockland and Sarady are about as dead as Neclords love life (seriously, why does a vampire need a wife, it’s not like he can get it up anymore what with the lack of blood flow.) and Gregminster is the capital of the entire Scarlet Moon Empire. Let’s set the scene, Tir & company gallivant around the countryside despite being outlaws and arrest on sight, Liberation Army produce plans for the Fire Spear, the two groups combine to form slightly more obvious group and bugger off to Sarady to deliver them to a messenger, Imperial guard patrols go “what” Lenankamp guards (who you can interact with) go “Lenankamp is fucking awesome, you must be uber rich to stay at this inn 400 times in the space of an hour.” And the team come back from a successful mission “yeah we’re freakin awesome, evading those troop patrols that weren’t there was easy, you really aren’t important are you?” to find their hide out underseige “omg hax!” Now this is where the citizens of Lenankamp show us just how moronic and shit stupid bastard they all are. Odessa runs off ahead, you follow and get stopped by two guard patrols with 5-6 Imperial Soldiers in each, you dispatch them easily and they fade away, of course this is still the case if you use the fire rune but still there would be the distinct smell of smouldering flesh before they disappeared. Odessa screams “eek I be pwnd” and you rush in the traditional hero manner of “oh fuck I just missed it” long story short she dies, but since she is pivotal to the storyline she doesn’t fade away, instead she wants you to throw her body in the sewer stream. Let’s break this down; you have a now dead body, in water, which travels under the entire city, that body would become bloated and give off a god awful decomposing smell because the water would basically make it to the point where if you saw it you’d vomit. Yet, you don’t see anyone later on noticing that they now have a dead body floating under their city. Realism? Fuck it, Odessa smells like roses she does, she added a rose scent to the sewer she did. The citizens, unphased by the fact that not 1 imperial unit returned alive, unphased by the Liberation Army suddenly buggering off en mass in broad daylight, the Imperial Guard who is simply there seems fine to let you waltz in, kill the men, and walk out without a hassle. “Odessa wait!” kills a few Imperial guardsmen “So the Liberation Army is now finished bwahaha, we’re awesome” “um dude, shouldn’t you be like arresting us for entering a place where your guys were raiding, or the fact we’re travelling with Sanchez?” “yup.. totally boned now, there’s no way they can recuperate from out awesomeness!” But wait, there’s more! Later on we find that Krin has a house in Lenankamp, the same Krin that broke into Lepants household, the same Krin who poisoned water and crap, the same Krin who is a bandit, what happens to bandits? Well Sydonia and Varkas were set to be crucified, but Krin, nah he’s an upstanding citizen who profited off banditry owns a house probably because of it and continues on his merry way. Not only that, but Meg also has a house there (her parents) so we have a dead body, a bandit, and a girl who plays tricks on people which could then lead to death all in the same town, and the villagers… well… ignorant fuckers. Kill a few people, steal from the people, and attempt to make it blatantly obvious that you did it and Lenankamp will open you with welcoming arms. Welcome completely insignificant person who can do no wrong and has done no wrong, considering you can’t kill or maim us I don’t care what you do, huzzah to ignorance!
Written by: Creme de la Fly
Nominated by: Creme de la Fly
Approved by: Flare & Darko

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